Dear Slavery,

I'm worried about my growing addiction to cocaine and hookers. It's
gotten to the point where I'm embezzling funds from charity
organizations to finance my habits. What can I do to stop?

Matthew Alex Clevy


Dear Matthew Alex Clevy,

(There seems to be a theme developing with these questions.)

Here are five things you can name your band:

1. The Amber Waves of Pain
2. The Funk Nazis
3. Night of the Living Fred
4. Mark and the Beasts
5. Sharon Sarin and the Agents.

--Slavery Hopkins