Monday, January 8, 2007

Hopkins! Eyes front!

Now that I have your full attention, what can you tell me about the Gulf of Tonkin resolution as it pertains to the transformation of executive power under the Johnson administration?

Sincerely,

Mr. Ballard, 8th grade American History, circa 1996


Dear Mr. Ballard:

Here are some more things that are said on my home movies:

I’m a jazz-r-cise witch.
Look in the mirror.
Hold still.
I’m going to make your eyes look like a clown.
You’re not being cooperative.
The Palestinians said, for now, they were willing to go along with limited self-rule. Provided a state of their own was not ignored.
Do you want to wear a hat? Do you want to wear the glitter hat?
Don’t rub your face.
Come here a minute.
Yes.
No.
They tried to attack me as I got to the door.
The other one was kind of like what you are.
Buy crispy, harvest-fresh Iceberg lettuce.
Well, you didn’t listen to me last time.
Enjoy the show.
Aren’t you a little old for this?
See that light?
I don’t want to hear your life story.
That was very selfish of you.
Get that out.
You don’t need that.
I see you.
On my way to where the air is clean. (How to get to sesame street, the whole song).
It’s such a big word, I can’t read it.
That’s not a word.
They’re both the same size.
I’m gonna sail the ocean blue.
Go get another.
It’s ok.
You can do it.
Green is the color of spring.
Can you do some exercises?
Want to go eat?
Let me take you out to dinner, just the two of us.
We don’t have a VCR, so it won’t really matter.
Turn that thing off for awhile.
It’s kinda goofy looking at the top.
I’m being as sweet as I can.
Can we take a little rest, I’m kind of tired.
So go on, I won’t say no more.
Boo!
I hope so.
When you’re a little bit older.
It’s not as heavy as I thought it would be.
There’s my dad.
I have a bird.
Can I see those hairs on your chest yet?
What are you doing? I thought you’d be working?
Here’s my medal.

--Slavery Hopkins

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Golf of Tonkin a staged event?

columbus said...

truer words never spoke